Embracing Emotional Vulnerability: It's Okay to Express Your Real Feelings
Do you ever feel like you’re always smoothing things over for others and not being yourself? This often happens when you try to keep things positive or peaceful and avoid being negative in front of people. When you constantly do this might lead you to over-present, overthink social events, and result in declining invitations with fabricated excuses. Here are two common beliefs that formed your view of vulnerability as inharmony:
1. Fear of Judgment
The common issues that prevent us from practicing vulnerability often from the fear of judgment, many people fear being judged or criticized if they show vulnerability. Society often values strength and resilience, leading people to believe that expressing vulnerability is a sign of weakness.
2. Cultural Norms
Secondly, our cultural norms and expectations can play a significant role. In some cultures, there may be an emphasis on maintaining a stoic and composed exterior, discouraging the open expression of emotions.
Reform the View of Vulnerability
Now you understand why you believe exposing your flaws, negativities, and weaknesses, perceived as vulnerability. To be frank, sharing your authentic self initially may make people feel uneasy and unsure about how to respond, however, this process actually brings you closer to those genuinely caring for you and sifts out those who don’t.
The reason is that your willingness to reveal your true self signifies comfort with others, and those who truly care for you will appreciate and reciprocate, fostering deeper connections.
Presently, in our society, many individuals strive for harmony to evade conflict, fostering peace. However, this collective pursuit often leads to the suppression of minority opinions or beliefs, deeming them undesirable within the group.
The societal pressure to perceive vulnerability as weakness is significant. If you manage to surround yourself with people who view vulnerability as normal or even a strength, you are already breaking free from the constraints of a suppressive crowd.
Before seeking a circle of people who actively promote self-expression or embrace vulnerability, you can initiate positive change by expressing yourself to others. By doing so, you encourage others to follow suit, eventually creating a community comfortable with genuine self-expression.
Apply Vulnerability in Wheel Of Life
To make vulnerability more practical rather than just theoretical, consider applying it to each aspect of your life based on the Wheel of Life. The Wheel of Life consists of eight aspects to complete the wheel:
- Career
- Health and Well-being
- Personal Development
- Relationships
- Finance
- Recreation and Hobbies
- Spirituality
- Personal Environment
With the ability to be vulnerable in your environment by expressing your genuine feelings, you’ll not only make your life easier but also enhance your success in each aspect of the Wheel of Life.
Formula for Expressing Vulnerability:
Express Vulnerability: Your Honest Feeling + The Reason Of Why This Feeling Occurred
Your Honest Feeling: Emphasizes the importance of being genuine and true to your emotions.
The Reason Of Why This Feeling Occurred: Adds the reason behind your feeling, providing context for better understanding.
People often share their feelings without initially explaining the reasons behind them. This lack of context leaves others uncertain about how to respond, as they might not understand the underlying reasons.
This unexpected expression, not conforming to social norms, can make others uncomfortable. Therefore, it’s crucial to communicate both your feelings and the reasons behind them to facilitate a more comfortable and understanding response from others.
Now, let’s explore how each aspect can be integrated with the practice of this formula of expressing vulnerability:
1. Career
Honest Feeling: I feel overwhelmed and stressed in my current job.
Reason Why: The workload has significantly increased, and I’m finding it challenging to meet deadlines. I’ve also been assigned new responsibilities without additional support or resources.
By expressing vulnerability in this career aspect, you’re being honest about your feelings of stress and overwhelm, and you’re providing the reason behind it — the increased workload and lack of support. This can open the door for communication with colleagues or superiors about potential solutions or support systems.
2. Health and Well-being
Honest Feeling: I feel physically and emotionally drained.
Reason Why: Over the past few months, I’ve been neglecting my health due to work pressures and personal challenges. Lack of exercise and proper self-care has taken a toll on both my physical and mental well-being.
Expressing vulnerability in the health aspect involves being honest about feeling drained and providing the reason — neglecting self-care. This opens the door for potential support from friends, family, or healthcare professionals.
3. Personal Development
Honest Feeling: I feel stuck and unsure about my personal growth.
Reason Why: I’ve been hesitant to pursue new opportunities or challenges due to fear of failure. This fear has hindered my personal and professional development, and I’m seeking guidance on how to overcome it.
In the personal development aspect, expressing vulnerability entails admitting feelings of being stuck and explaining the reason — the fear of failure. Sharing this vulnerability can open up opportunities for mentorship or support in overcoming personal barriers.
4. Relationships
Honest Feeling: I feel disconnected and lonely.
Reason Why: Due to work commitments and stress, I’ve unintentionally distanced myself from friends and family. I miss the emotional connection and support that these relationships provide.
In the context of relationships, expressing vulnerability involves acknowledging feelings of disconnection and loneliness, and attributing it to work stress. This vulnerability can lead to more meaningful conversations and the possibility of receiving emotional support from loved ones.
5. Finance
Honest Feeling: I feel anxious and overwhelmed about my financial situation.
Reason Why: Unexpected expenses and changes in my income have created financial instability. I’m struggling to make ends meet and worry about the future.
Expressing vulnerability in the financial aspect involves honestly sharing feelings of anxiety and overwhelm, coupled with the reason — the challenges posed by unexpected financial changes. This vulnerability may lead to seeking advice or assistance in managing finances more effectively.
6. Recreation and Hobbies
Honest Feeling: I feel unfulfilled and lacking joy in my recreational activities.
Reason Why: I’ve been neglecting activities that bring me joy and relaxation due to a busy schedule. The lack of leisure time has taken a toll on my overall well-being.
Expressing vulnerability in the recreation and leisure aspect involves acknowledging feelings of unfulfillment and explaining the reason — a lack of time for enjoyable activities. This vulnerability may prompt discussions on prioritizing self-care and finding moments of joy.
7. Spirituality
Honest Feeling: I feel spiritually disconnected and uncertain.
Reason Why: Amidst life’s challenges, I’ve neglected my spiritual practices. The lack of connection to my spiritual beliefs has left me feeling adrift and seeking guidance.
In the spirituality aspect, expressing vulnerability entails acknowledging feelings of disconnection and explaining the reason — neglecting spiritual practices. This vulnerability may lead to conversations about re-establishing a spiritual routine or seeking support to navigate spiritual challenges.
8. Personal Environment
Honest Feeling: I feel stressed and overwhelmed by the clutter and disorganization in my living space.
Reason Why: Due to a hectic lifestyle, I haven’t had the time to declutter and organize my surroundings. The chaos in my environment is contributing to my overall stress.
In the context of the personal environment aspect, expressing vulnerability includes sharing feelings of stress and attributing it to a cluttered living space. This vulnerability may lead to seeking assistance or making a plan to create a more organized and calming environment.
Conclusion
Hope this exploration into vulnerability serves as a catalyst for reshaping your perspective. Let it be known that vulnerability is not a flaw but a brave expedition towards authenticity and forging profound connections. Take this opportunity to defy misconceptions by incorporating vulnerability into different facets of your life. It’s not just a practice, it’s a gateway to personal growth and the cultivation of genuine bonds with others.
As you open your heart to vulnerability, you not only discover more about yourself but also invite a richer, more authentic life experience.
Remember, vulnerability isn’t merely an expression; it’s an impression for others. When you express yourself, it’s essential to convey the reasons behind your expression. This allows others to understand and respond, encouraging them to open up and share their feelings.
Vulnerability is a connection from heart to heart, and fostering such connections requires providing a pathway for others to open their hearts.
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